WAYS YOU CAN HELP SOMEONE WHO IS SUICIDAL, HAVING A PANIC ATTACK, OR SELF HARMING
-remove them from the situation which has caused them into a panic attack
-ask them about what they want you to do. this could be rubbing their back or leaving them alone altogether
-do not touch them unless they give you permission
-remember to calm them and not to pressure them into giving answers or asking them what caused the attack. sometimes, panic attacks come from no where
-be calm and patient
-distract them
-point things out to them to remind them of where they are
-if they take medication to deal with their panic attacks, remind them to take it
-people sometimes relapse a couple of hours after having a panic attack. keep close tabs on them and make sure they're okay
-if the person asks you to leave them alone, saying something like "i'll be right back" so it doesn't sound like you're abandoning them but don't wander off. be close to them but not too close.
HELP THEM BREATHE!
-get them to breathe out a little longer than they breathe in, especially if they feel like they're going to pass out
-count breaths if needed
-encourage them to control their breathing
-use a paper bag if there is one
DO NOT
-shout at them
-abuse them
-tell them to calm down
-tell them it's nothing and you'll get over it
-say they are overrating
-if you do ANY of these you are the BIGGEST assh*le ever.
START BY ASKING QUESTIONS (be sensitive, but direct)
-how are you coping with what's been happening in your life?
-do you ever feel like just giving up?
-are you thinking about dying?
-are you thinking about hurting yourself?
-are you thinking about suicide?
-have you ever thought about suicide before, or tried to harm yourself before?
-have you thought about how or when you'd do it?
-do you have access to weapons or things that can be used as weapons to harm yourself?
LOOK FOR WARNING SIGNS (common signs that a person is considering suicide)
-talking about suicide — for example, making statements such as "i'm going to kill myself," "i wish i were dead" or "i wish i hadn't been born"
-getting the means to take your own life, such as buying a gun or stockpiling pills
-withdrawing from social contact and wanting to be left alone
-having mood swings, such as being emotionally high one day and deeply discouraged the next
-being preoccupied with death, dying or violence
-feeing trapped or hopeless about a situation
-increasing use of alcohol or drugs
-changing normal routine, including eating or sleeping patterns
-doing risky or self-destructive things, such as using drugs or driving recklessly
-giving away belongings or getting affairs in order when there is no other logical explanation for doing this
-saying goodbye to people as if they won't be seen again
-developing personality changes or being severely anxious or agitated, particularly when experiencing some of the warning signs listed above
lastly, OFFER SUPPORT
-encourage them to call a suicide hotline number
-encourage the person to seek treatment
-offer to help the person take steps to get assistance and support
-encourage the person to communicate with you
-be respectful and acknowledge the person's feelings
-do not be patronizing or judgmental
-never promise to keep someone's suicidal feelings a secret
-encourage the person to avoid alcohol and drug use
-remove potentially dangerous items from the person's home
-take al signs of suicidal behavior seriously
UNDERSTAND THAT THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU
-it isn't your place to confront them
-it isn't your place to say things like "don't self harm for me"
-your friend's self harm is not about you
-people self harm for many reasons. this is not about you
-do not try or tell a self harmer how much their self harming hurts you
-do not try and police what is and isn't self harm
-do not report them to the school/parents/friends. this is an invasion of privacy and is unfair to them.
the DON'TS in conversation initiating
-if you want to talk to them about it, make sure you do it calmly and in private
-do not call them out in public. do not shame them. do not guilt them.
-do not point out the fact that you saw the scars. a simple "hey, you seem like you've had a rough time lately - is there anything I can do?" might suffice.
-do not accuse them of doing it for attention
-do not assume you know why they do it.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO
-ask them what they need.
-understand that you can only help a self-harmer that wants to be helped
-offer support, but only what you can. do not claim that you can be there all the time if you cannot do so.
-if you have advice, tips, or tricks, make sure the person is receptive to hearing them first. a simple "hey, i found these tips for dealing with self-harming urges, would you be interested in them?" would suffice.
-SUPPORT AND REAFFIRM WORTH
-remind them that they worth more than the scars
-remind them they are worthy even if they self harm
-remind them that they are still a person with value.
REMEMBER
-this is NOT about you
-self harmers are still people worthy of respect. THEIR PRIVACY MATTERS.
-respect boundaries
-respect that they may not be in a place to stop yet
-respect that they may or may not even what to talk about it.
-SUPPORT AND AFFIRM WORTH
my other carrds:
carrd of the year
suicide prevention hotlines
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